I Didn’t Fully Become a Women Until My Mother Passed

This book may be about the lessons I learned from my Mother, but it's also about the lessons I've learned since her passing. Her passing showed me who I was but it also showed me who I was not. My Mother raised me to be strong, independent and to believe in God, but I discovered that I’m resilient, tenacious and that my belief in God was on a completely different level than even my Mother knew.

Since my Mother’s passing I’ve had to learn and unlearn a lot of things and quite frankly the process has been brutal.

For as long as I could remember, I’ve always had my Mother to lean on (even when we were on bad terms) but since her passing, I’ve had to figure out my life without her. I never imagined how hard it would be but the process has taught me a lot about myself. It’s also shown me the things that I wanted were not always the things that my Mother wanted for me and that’s ok.

While my Mother and I were very similar, her passing has shown me that we were also very different. I had to learn how to fully embrace the woman that I am and that scared me. I tried to play it safe but that didn’t work so I charted my own territory and that’s where I found myself.

I discovered my dreams and goals were possible. I discovered my failures were my stepping stones to success and I discovered it was ok to fully be the woman that I am.

Since my Mother’s passing, I’ve learned that no two women are the same. That was a big revelation for me because I used to believe that my Mother raised me to be a mini version of her. As time passed and I got older, I didn’t believe this as much because my Mother started to see that I marched to the beat of my own drum. I did things my way and more often than not she didn’t like it but she knew she couldn’t change my mind either.

I was stubborn. I knew what I wanted and I did whatever it took (within reason) to get there. It wasn’t until my Mother passed that I found the courage to live the way that I always wanted to.

I knew that even if I struggled it would only be temporary because I would figure it out and discover that success was on the other side of the very things that I feared.

After my Mother passed I became brave. I survived the worst thing that could have ever happen to me and I was determined to live my life on my terms.

I became the woman I wanted to be and I knew my Mother would not want me to look back.